Unfamiliar Territory
by Golem XIV
Summary: One-shot. Garfield wants to take Raven out on Valentine's Day, but where? He tries to think hard about it, but thinking is unfamiliar territory for him.


**Author's Note:**

February 14th is close by, so of course, I had to write something related. But much more importantly, I'm again trying some new things and new styles.

I used 1st person present tense before in _Forever is Long, indeed_ , but not this way. Besides, in this story I had to get inside Gar's mind, and try to think like he does. I have to say I'm pretty happy about how it turned out. I hope you will be, too. So please don't be shy about letting me know if you liked it. Or not.

Ooops, forgot the **disclaimer.** I doan' own no Teen Titans.

* * *

 **Unfamiliar Territory**

Dude, this is _hard._

I mean, yeah, like I'm not really good at using what little I have between my ears, but…

Heh. They're cool, y'know. The ears, I mean. I know the chicks dig 'em. They're my secret weapon. The ace up my sleeve. My trump card. Like the tail of a peacock. Or the mane of a lion. Or the pincers of a stag beetle.

No, wait, scratch that last one. I ain't gonna be fighting no one with my _ears._

But they're cool, anyway. Well, I guess they are. I wonder…

I wonder if she likes them.

Of course she does, Garfield. Look at them! Is there anything cuter than that? When I make them wiggle, just _so?_

Well, yeah, a small kitten is cuter. Or a puppy. But that's not a fair comparison. I mean…

The fang's kinda nice also. Manly. Need to lower my voice… Hrumph! That's better.

OK, that was enough daydreaming! How 'bout I get back to thinking about the _important_ stuff?

So…

Maybe I should ask her first and think of it later?

I mean, if she doesn't wanna go… all that _thinking_ will be for nothing. Wasted.

And it's really _hard,_ dude! How does she do it? How does Dick do it? I suppose you have to practice it, exercise it like a muscle.

I guess it gives you headaches, just like training gives you muscle pain. No pain, no gain. Still, I can live with muscle pains and cramps. I'm kinda used to it. But I hate headaches.

Maybe that's why she and Dick are always so serious. Almost sour. Guess I'd be, too, if my head hurt all the time.

Argh! I've drifted off again! OK, no more games, Garfield. Concentrate. Focus. What was the question? Um… Oh, yeah.

Do I ask her first? Maybe she'll say no, and then…

But she will! I mean, she won't! I mean, she'll say yes! How can anyone resist the ears? And the fang!

Like, even by themselves they're a menace, y'know. But together, they're just _unfair!_

Unfair to all girl-kind. Or girl-dom. Or whatever it's called. Y'know, the girls. When taken together.

Waitwaitwait! Hold on. Rewind. You're wandering off again.

What if she asks me _where?_

I'll just stand there with my mouth open stupidly and my ears drooping and my eyes lost. Looking like a fool.

Looking like a fool in front of the smartest person I know.

And the most beautiful.

Her eyes…

 _Focus!_

Ugh. Back to square one, I guess. So, then. Where?

Where do you take – where do you _suggest_ you take a half-demon empath on Valentine's Day?

I mean, the gift was easy. A book. The one everyone's talking about. Giving Raven a book is a no-brainer. Even for a scatterbrain like me.

And a box of chocolates, just in case she doesn't like the book. There's no girl in the world that'll refuse chocolates.

So…

Where was I? Chocolates?

Dammit, Gar! Willya stop drifting away?

No dancing. Too many people. Too many emotions. Like placing an owl in front of a huge searchlight and saying "enjoy yourself". Besides… Too much noise, too much _scent._ All those teens in rut.

Hey, I'm getting somewhere! At least I've discarded something! And I've found out that we may have similar tastes!

Great. Now, let's see. Similar tastes… a movie! Superheroes, obviously. Is there a Batman movie upcoming? Hmmm.

Whoa. Wait. Hold it. Since when does she like superhero movies? I don't think she does.

Besides, the theater will be full of people, and that may affect her.

And I want to spend the day looking at _her_ , not at a screen. Talking to _her_ , not listening to actors.

No movies, then. Oh well.

Dinner?

But she's not vegan. If I take her to my places, she'll hate it. If I go to her places, I'll hate it.

Dude, this is _really_ hard.

Hang on, I'm actually getting closer! I've already thrown out three kinds of places. From those where people usually go, when they're on a…

Nah, it's not a _date._

I mean, like she would go out on a _date._ With _me._

Just… going out, y'know. Two friends.

On Valentine's Day.

Nothing more'n that.

Ugh… I really gotta learn how to do this thinking stuff. Maybe I should ask Vic.

Anyway. Where was I?

Oh, yeah. No dancing, no movies, no dinner.

Um… what else _is_ there?

Maybe the zoo?

Yeah, Terra liked it when I took her…

No. I will not think of her. Not any more. She said what she had to say and did what she had to do. I'm over her. She's in the past. I have to focus on the future.

She is cute, though. Not quite beautiful, but those big blue eyes… And her hair's nice. Blonde.

She _is_ a bit skinny. And flat. No figure to talk about.

But I guess that's the best a green freak can aspire to. And even she pushed me away.

And now I'm thinking of dating… No, not _dating_. Asking out. Yeah, that's it. Asking out a dream made flesh. An unearthly loveliness. An angel fallen from Heaven. Smart. Powerful. Beautiful. I mean, just look at her. I gotta keep myself from staring and drooling every time that cloak of hers parts for a moment and I get a glimpse of the sheer _artistry_ hidden beneath it. Long legs, hourglass figure... And those eyes. They pierce straight into my soul. I bet she knows everything I think, everything I feel, everything I'd like to do to her. With her, I mean. How soft can those pale lips be? How smooth can that creamy skin feel? How –

I need a cold shower.

No. What I _need_ is to stop _drifting_ and think of _where_ can I take _Raven_ on _Valentine's Day_.

If she says yes, of course.

She will. She can't resist the ears. Or the fang.

No girl can.

Ugh. Why do I keep deceiving myself?

Wait. That's not important. Think of it this way. You've got nothing to lose. Worse thing that can happen is she'll say no, and then... then you'll look like a fool with your book and your chocolates. In front of her.

As if it would be the first time.

As if she didn't make you feel and look like a fool so many times before.

Not that it wasn't my fault. Well, mostly my fault. I mean, I did act like one. But she could've shown some understanding. We're not all so serious and so…

Nonononono. Stop it. You behaved like an idiot, so it's only fair that she treated you like one. So stop making a fool of yourself and she'll stop thinking you are.

A fool, I mean.

And what if I am? That's who I am. That's _what_ I am. And if she doesn't like it, well, too bad. There's a bunch of girls out there who just _love_ the ears. And the fang. Screw it, I'm not going anywhere. My head hurts already. Too bad, Rae. You just lost the chance for the best Valentine's Day that you ever had.

Humph.

Wait a sec, on how many Valentine's Days did she go out? Did she _ever_ have a Valentine? I don't remember any. At least since we've all met.

She always spends it in her room. Alone.

Like me.

Well, I don't sit in my room reading. I play third wheel for Sarah and Vic.

And it makes me feel even lonelier.

Maybe…

Maybe I should make the effort. For her. Just so she can see how nice a Valentine's Day can be. Have a little fun. Relax. Walk a bit, talk a bit, maybe nibble on something.

 _THAT'S IT!_

Where's the book? The chocolates? I gotta do it. Right now. Don't think about it any more, Garfield. You'll only try to convince yourself out of it.

OK, the wrapping's fine, I didn't wrinkle it. Careful with the chocolates, don't want them to melt from the heat of my hand. Gotta carry them on top of the book, that way I don't touch them.

Her door. OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodwhatdoIdonow?

Knock, you idiot.

Um. Yeah. That's right. Knock.

Y'know, like with the knuckle? Hit the door with the knuckle a few times. Not too gently, not too hard. Enough for her to hear.

That's right. Knock. Like the joke. Knock-knock. Who's there? Garfield. Garfield who?

Uh-oh. Never heard that joke. How does it end?

 _Focus,_ Garfield. The hand. Make a fist. Lift it. Strike the door with the knuckle several times. You can do it.

I…

can't.

* * *

The door shines with a black light and opens. I stare blankly into those two deep, violet wells. I wish so desperately to drown in them.

"What is it, Garfield? Why are you standing in front of my door?"

I'm here because I'd like you to go out with me on Valentine's Day, and I brought you this book and these chocolates, and I hope you like them, and I'd love it if you would go out with me and we could have a nice stroll in the park, and talk, and have fun together and enjoy each other's company, and I'd prepare a small picnic, some vegan stuff for me and some nice sandwiches for you, and we'd sit on the grass and relax and talk and I'd smile and secretly breathe in deeply and take in your scent and it would make me dizzy and then I would move closer and I would bend my head and touch my lips to yours and you would be surprised but you wouldn't shy away and I would get bold and press them down harder and kiss you and you would kiss me back and –

"I…"

That's all I can say.

Her eyes go down to the two packages in my hands. Her eyebrow goes up. Her eyes follow it and she looks at me again.

"For you!" I blurt out finally.

Her eyes are dark and mysterious and I think I see a small spark kindle in them.

"Come in and close the door," she says, turns around and floats into the gloom. I follow and close the door. I'm a good robot. I can do anything I'm told. And nothing else.

I see the outline of her cloak and the glow in her eyes. I take a step closer and I push the packages towards her, offering them. My mouth is dry and my throat is tight. I can't speak, just stand there with my arms extended, the two presents in my hands.

"Thank you, Gar," she says in that low, slightly hoarse voice of hers. It resonates in my head and my chest and my groin. "What is it?"

"For you!" I repeat. Did I mention I was a good little robot?

She takes the presents and places them beside her as she sits on the bed. She takes the first one, the chocolates. She scrapes off the tape. Her nails are longer than normal, but not by too much. Well cared for, but unpainted. Utilitarian. She doesn't give much thought to makeup or hairdressing or painting her nails.

She doesn't need to. She's breathtakingly, _painfully_ beautiful.

Her long, pale, delicate fingers unwrap the box of chocolates. A small smile lights her face.

My heart skips, my knees weaken and tremble. I've made her smile.

"Thank you!" she says softly. I breathe like a fish out of water. I should know, I've been one.

Her hand goes for the second package. My heart is strangling me slowly while it pounds in my throat.

She unwraps the book and looks at it, then places it beside her on the bed and looks at me.

Frowning.

I've annoyed her, but I have no idea how or why. Not that it's something uncommon, but right now I feel an urge to turn into a beetle. A flea. A bacterium. Scuttle out of her room, invisible and unheard. Never see her again. Never show my guilty face to her again.

"Have you read this book, Gar?"

"Uh… no, not really," someone else answers. Strangely enough, he sounds just like me.

"Do you know what it's about?"

"Nah," the other guy says. "No idea. You know I don't do books much."

Her frown clears. A small smile appears again, the sun shining and chasing away thunderclouds. There's a godawful rumbling and crashing, but she doesn't hear it. She couldn't, it's just that enormous rock that was pressing on my chest suddenly rolling off.

"Then why did you buy it?"

I know it's weird and unexpected, but somehow it turns out that I can answer. "Everyone's talking 'bout it. On TV and on the streets and the Internet, y'know, so I supposed it's popular because it's good."

Her eyes are expressionless but her gaze drills deep into my mind and my soul. I feel like I can't hide anything from her.

"So you bought me _Fifty Shades of Grey_ just because it's popular? Not because of its contents?"

I swallow. Something's still not right. "Yeah. Look, if you don't like it I'm sorry, I can return it –"

"No, not at all. I'm certain I'll enjoy it. But I do have a request."

"Request?"

"Yes. When I finish it I want you to read it, OK?"

Hell, I'd go through a lot worse than reading a book for her. "No probs."

"Good." Was her smile a bit wider? Was there a spark in those amethyst eyes? "Anything else on your mind?" she asks me.

Hey, how 'bout that, I still have a voice!

"Yeah, I mean I wanted to ask you if you were planning something for Valentine's Day, 'cause I was thinking of going to the park, y'know, with you, if you want, take a stroll, talk a bit, if you don't mind, y'know, maybe a picnic, I can make you some sandwiches and we could –"

"I'd love to, Gar."

"– we could just, y'know, spend the day together, 'cause I know you're not comfortable when there are many people around, and –"

"I said I'd love to go with you, Garfield."

"– and I hope it's a nice day, because I'd really love to share a beautiful day with you and talk, and stroll around a bit, if you want, y'know, so –"

" _Garfield!_ "

I clamp my mouth shut but my tongue keeps moving on its own; I dare not open it again 'cause the goddamn thing's gonna keep wagging and – what did she say?

"I said, 'I would love to go with you'. Do you understand?"

I nod my head. That's about all I can do right now.

"Good. Noon?"

I nod again. I seem to be getting good at nodding. Practice makes perfect.

"Very well then," she says, rising. "Thank you for the gifts, Gar. They are very… thoughtful."

I nod _vigorously_. Hell, I'm an old hand at this. A veteran.

She lifts an eyebrow. Her small smile starts moving over to one side of her face, becoming just a bit crooked.

I know I have to do something, but I can't remember what it is. Except that it's important. And that it's not nodding.

"Goodbye, Gar."

Oh, _that!_ Yeah, I can do that.

"Bye, Rae."

I turn and leave her room. The door sighs closed behind me.

Right. I told ya, didn't I? She couldn't resist the ears. Or the fang.

I head for the roof. There's one more thing I need to do.

I need to scream out my happiness.


End file.
